Seriously, I screwed up.
Monday, July 11, 2011
I Officially Suck, At Least for Today
Whatever my anxiety over Kyd living here, I really needed to put it aside for the day, for his BIRTHDAY. I tried to salvage things, but every attempt just made things worse. He feels shitty, I feel shitty. I should've just gone ahead and ordered balloons that say, "Happy Birthday, it's Going to Suck".
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It's okay. We all make mistakes and you really didn't cause this situation in the first place. You might have contributed to it, but there were other factors, too. Kyd (from what I've read) isn't really acting like the grateful, humble, thankful, loving son that ends up being treated like The Birthday Boy! And even with that being true, he is your only son and so his birthday is important to you, so just take it easy.
ReplyDeleteYou're such a dear, and the support offered is much appreciated. But it's ok, I have to learn where I screw up, and this was one of those times. When I read back I realized that the minute Kyd came back from his weekend I was ready to pounce. The not having a plan makes me anxious and I couldn't handle being the only one with that feeling so I tried to dump it, and at the most inappropriate time.
ReplyDeleteYou don't suck, one iota! You're human and he's a massive button pusher and he's given you plenty of reason to feel anxious. I know... I know... Believe me... But that is why he needs help. He needs to learn to own his life and take responsibility for himself and his actions. If he does not get on this path now, it will never happen. I don't mean to scare you, but he still young enough to effect the necessary paradigm shift!
ReplyDeleteAgain, you're not alone... One of those cop visits was on my son's 16th birthday. But, that's the day he chose to throw a chair through a door because we would not let him go to a concert when he had finals exams to take the next day.
Inappropriate behavior is not tolerated in our home--ever. (not that we don't fuck up sometimes. Of course, we all do.)
I'm still confused about one thing though. If he just turned 20, why is he expected to pay rent and to earn a living to be able to support himself? Why is he not in college, at this time? I'm not saying that he shouldn't have a job and/or contribute something and time is worth more than money, IMO when there's a sink full of dirty dishes.
best ~ L
Lexie, he is expected to earn a living because he doesn't want to go to college. He tried it and didn't stick with it. I actually suggested that he try a trade school yesterday, and he of course rejected that. So if he's not in school he needs to work, and he also needs to work because he owes a few thousand dollars to the court.
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