The Palm Reader

For years I've driven by The Palm Reader's house. After all, it's on the way to Whole Foods and Trader Joe's and Target and every other business located in this town. I've always wanted to stop in and get the special $5 reading, just for a lark.

I find Tarot readings, palm readings, and generally all things psychic both fascinating and annoying. Fascinating might actually be too strong a word. It would be more accurate to say my curiosity gets peaked once in a while. Especially when I happen upon scientific studies supporting the possibility. 

My mother did say I had always wished for a crystal ball that to see what the right thing to do was. Mothers have that irksome habit of always being right. 

I got in the car today, no destination in mind except "away", and soon found myself in the driveway of The Palm Reader. I parked next to the two sleek white cars I assumed belonged to the owners. I was met on the porch by a blinking black cat and a woman who eyed me suspiciously. Behind me the traffic continued to rush by and it was all so comical and strange. From inside I heard a child laughing at a television program, and the woman at the door impatiently waved her hand toward the sign listing the services offered and their prices. $35 for a tarot reading, and it went up progressively from there. I told her I was interested in the advertised $5 palm reading.

She told me to have a seat on the porch and she would get her daughter. By now I was confident this whole set up was a scam, but I had nothing better to do than to satisfy my curiosity about what it would all look like. Some part of me was hoping I might for once meet the real deal, but not today. 

The daughter came out. She was unremarkable except for her wide green eyes. My impression was that of a bored high-schooler working an after school job at a box store, though if I had to guess I would peg her at around 30 years old. She sat me down behind a screen and asked to see my palm. She pointed out the lines without touching me and then proceeded to tell me about my life. It sounded like she was reciting from a script. She peppered the "revealing" with "and forgive me, I don't mean to offend", and "does this seem true to you?" and "why I was given this gift". 

She did startle me at one point by saying that she sensed I had two negative people in my immediate life right now, and they were blocking off a lot of routes for me, forcing me in one direction that wasn't my true path. She elaborated on what this was doing to me, how it was being done, and so on, and considering that Kyd is temporarily back home, it was kind of dead on. I had to wonder, if this was a script, was it that common that someone would have two negative people in their inner circle causing that much distress? 

There was nothing she said that was off, and I admit it, as she rattled off what sounded like a script, I was amazed at how accurately it applied to me. Again and again I wondered about the statistics behind this. Sure, some of it is easily explained by the horoscope phenomenon where the information is so vague and universal. But some was more specific. It was a fascinating experiment. 

She advised me that it was important for me to stay energetically closed off to the two negative forces in my life to prevent further damage. Then she offered to work on my situation by meditating and praying over candles lit for me in "her church" for six days and six nights. All she asked was a contribution for the nine candles. $10 each or $90. I politely declined and said good-bye. She called me sweetie, and I was on my way.