Roi and I had therapy yesterday. Our therapist is not a CSAT, and actually knows little about sex addiction, but I like her anyway. So far. It only took her about 20 minutes to determine I'm suffering from depression severe enough to consider medication and that Roi is suffering from a divided mind and that he is NOT sober.
At one point she said to Roi, "Do you understand how Briar never knows when she's the friend or the enemy?"
Our final assignments until next week were for me to view Roi as someone who is incapable of more than what he is right now, and for Roi to make a list of all the things "you need to make amends to this woman for". To drive her point about Roi's capabilities, she used the analogy of someone in a wheelchair. "You wouldn't expect someone in a wheelchair to reach the top-shelf, or to be able to suddenly get up and go running", she said.
Roi seemed relieved at this, but he doesn't understand the implications for me. With that shift in my thinking, it means that I have to view Roi as someone I cannot trust, rely on, talk to, or ask help from. He is incapable of those things. Without those things, what is left? It means I don't want to talk to him, listen to him, or generally be around him at all.
That was kind of her to use the analogy of someone in a wheelchair for Roi. My therapist used a naked person (for Jermaine) and I kept asking to borrow his coat. Similar.
ReplyDeleteI imagine couple's therapy to be an interesting beast.