Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Updates from the Land of Endless Insanity

My neurofeedback treatment continues to go well and I feel I'm improving daily and more my "self" than I've been in a long time, but the jury is still out on how much of my "self" is problematic versus my situation being problematic and where all the lines are.

Lexie is doing reasonably fine and she and I have become increasingly close over the last year.

Our cat died recently and that devastated me. That event was sandwiched neatly between Roi doing prescription drugs again under the auspice of shoulder pain, and Kyd coming home intoxicated for the first time in a long while and raining chaos and blustering, slurred anger down on everyone for a few hours before passing out.

All the while the country's economy is still hanging on a precarious edge and jobs remain scarce in my area so prospects for leaving or for affording the in-depth, comprehensive close treatment Kyd needs feel ever far off, though I continue to look, continue to try while pedaling the wheels of my own recovery as fast and steadily as I can to stay one hair ahead of slipping back into anxiety or depression.

One day at a time, one day at a time I tell myself.


  1. I'm so sorry to hear about your kitty, honey. Our Peaches nearly died 6 months ago, but he had surgery and he's fine now. I was already in the bargaining and denial stages of loss... but he pulled through. amazing cat!

    I hear you about the financial aspect of leaving, too.

    Roi is hopeless, but I feel for Kyd who isn't quite yet fully developed. Seeing how my AD/HD son has grown even in the last couple of years, is very encouraging. (he's 21 now). But my heart goes out to you, because I cannot begin to imagine how agonizing it is for you to see your child suffering. I gather that Roi would not take on the expense of Kyd's treatment, in any case?



  2. I can relate to this post. The stoopid economy, the kid getting drunk just when you thought he might change, the sad passing of a cat. And especially separating the problems from the problematic situation.

    I'm glad you continue to seek yourself. It's painful and difficult..and expensive..ugg.

  3. Lexie, thanks for the kind words.

    Lou, yep. Just yep. :)