A blog about being the partner of a sex addict, and mother to a son with alcohol, drug, and emotional issues. "These sentences are how I solve the problem of myself."
Realized this morning that if I DO get this job I applied for and I DO move out that I DON'T get to have the holidays in this house. Not even one set of holidays.
Yeah, I've got things that I will miss if I DO end up standing my ground and actually separating myself from Jermaine, too. Sucks, but, I guess the stuff we do get to enjoy/don't have to put up with will be better than what we miss.
I know, but for some reason out of everything this really gets me. Like, motherfucker, why does he get THIS house for Halloween? For Thanksgiving? For Christmas? It's such a beautiful holiday house and in my whole life I've never lived anywhere that I really wanted to host dinners and events and I DO in this house. And it's doubly tragic to think that he won't do those things when this house is such a beautiful and peaceful space to welcome others.
I get it, Briar, I do. Maybe set the intention that you can create another space in which you can invite your friends and loved ones. A space that is yours, where you can be happy ALL of the time and not just when you are hosting.
Yeah, I've got things that I will miss if I DO end up standing my ground and actually separating myself from Jermaine, too. Sucks, but, I guess the stuff we do get to enjoy/don't have to put up with will be better than what we miss.
ReplyDeleteI know, but for some reason out of everything this really gets me. Like, motherfucker, why does he get THIS house for Halloween? For Thanksgiving? For Christmas? It's such a beautiful holiday house and in my whole life I've never lived anywhere that I really wanted to host dinners and events and I DO in this house. And it's doubly tragic to think that he won't do those things when this house is such a beautiful and peaceful space to welcome others.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm totally jumping the gun anyway. This is all assuming that I get a job that I can afford to move out into this same area and NOT move Lexie.
ReplyDeleteI get it, Briar, I do. Maybe set the intention that you can create another space in which you can invite your friends and loved ones. A space that is yours, where you can be happy ALL of the time and not just when you are hosting.
ReplyDeleteAnd I also get jumping the gun. I do that, too.