Saturday, June 25, 2011

Three Weeks

An eternity, a flash in time. What to do with it? Not only is Roi gone, but both Lexie and Kyd are working 5 days a week from 2:00 to late evening. This means I have hours and hours of genuine time to myself for three solid weeks. I haven't had that much time to myself since I was a child. 

I can think of a bajillion things I could do with this time, but mostly I feel like doing nothing at all with it. Just resting and movie watching and lazing around. A vacation from life. 

It feels irresponsible. Like I should be focused on fixing my life, using every spare drop of time to job search and exercise and polish myself until I shine like a new penny. 

Thus I remain committed to letting these three weeks happen as they will. Maybe I will laze around. Maybe I'll grow bored of resting and take some definitive actions. I had this thought this morning of making one small change in my routine every few days. Most mornings I don't want to get out of bed because it means facing my own thoughts. I force myself to go back to sleep and to stay in slumber for as long as physically possible. But I could add something relaxing and healing to my morning wake up. Get up when I wake up, but add some beautiful, relaxing, self-care routine like rubbing scented oil into freshly washed feet, gentle yoga stretches, and meditation. 

So I think I'm going to try that, and then see what I feel like doing after a few days. 


  1. I think you've come up with a good plan. Tackle change a little bit at a time. Life has been all about Roi and his chaos for so long, you deserve some down time. Then, little by little, you can work your job search. Maybe give yourself a timeline of lazing about? Those three weeks just may sneak right up on you =)

  2. Oh, don't I know it (that the three weeks will sneak up on me). What I'm hoping and planning to happen is that I will give myself permission to rest and then naturally I'll begin to want to take more steps forward.

  3. Yes, and I will try again tomorrow. My plans were foiled this morning by having woken to a nightmare, which I will share later.