Saturday, May 28, 2011

Lonely-ish Holiday

Facebook. Again. It struck me as I checked in with FB this morning that most of my friends have holiday plans that include friends, family, AND significant others. Per the usual, Roi is somewhere else on this holiday, as he is most holidays (except Christmas). 

It bothers me a little because there's something about it that's so obviously and glaringly wrong and says so much about our "relationship". At the same time, I'm glad to be alone to do as I want without having to be triggered because we're at a party or a beach. I'm glad I don't have to be miserable in that particular confusing sucky way. 

I'm going for a bike ride today. It's gorgeous weather. Just right for bike riding and we are blessed with long paved trails just around the corner. After that a graduation party which I'm ambivalent about. Parties for me, with or without Roi, have become difficult. I'm not good at small talk, and maybe I'm not even very good at relaxing and having a good time. I'm too serious for my own good far too often. But I'm going to make myself go, if for no other reason than that I've missed too many celebrations because of some addiction drama playing out in my realm. I've lost too much. 

So I'll go, and I'll try to smile, try to relax, try to celebrate in a friend's small life victory and be happy about it. 

Just for today. Tomorrow can suck it.

1 comment:

  1. I hope that you were able to enjoy yourself today and at the very least, leave your worries behind for a short while.