Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Other One

I've been quite focused on dealing with Roi's addictions lately, and if you visit because you're looking for news on Kyd, here's a check in. 

I don't write about Kyd as often for a lot of reasons. He's my child, so I feel protective of how he's viewed here. I want the world to love him as much as I do. Also, I don't know a lot about what's going on in his day to day life now that he's not living at home. And finally, thank the Universe, there hasn't been a major event in a while. 

The worry is less, but it's still there, and indeed there have been some recent triggers. Kyd has a girlfriend, and she's pretty sweet, if not a little flaky. They seem to get on well, and the longer they're together the louder those worry wasps in my head start to buzz. Closer bonding means deeper heart-break if anything goes wrong. Historically Kyd doesn't handle major change well. We haven't yet seen how he would handle  the major change of a break-up, an event that is deeply painful and difficult for the most stable of minds.

He also gave me the news that he's likely to get a job with the girlfriend's father. I don't know a thing about this man, but another weakness for Kyd is his relationship to male authority figures. You can see how my imagination sees a perfect storm brewing here. 

Most difficult of all is that if he gets this job, he'll be wanting to move home temporarily. A scenario as sticky as a bucket of cold honey. This is where the line between "supporting" and "enabling" gets real blurry, and I'm not much in the mood for blurry anymore. I want to support his efforts, but I can't make that decision alone. Lexie wouldn't feel comfortable with it, but might cave under his pleas and assurances of adherence to whatever rules and boundaries we'll need. Roi, on the other hand, harbors unspoken and unexplained resentments toward Kyd. It seeps out sideways whenever Kyd visits, but Roi says there's not a problem.

I see a rock and a hard place up ahead.

For now, Kyd is getting ready for his girlfriend's senior prom this weekend. We've picked out a gorgeous tuxedo and I'm going to shelve everything else as I admire my handsome son and wear what I expect will be an ear-to-ear grin.


  1. You mention the unspoken and unexplained tension between Roi and Kyd- I think it is more natural for a man and his woman's son to be at odds if it is not his biological child, than it is for the man to accept and love the child. It's just a theory that I've developed in my head after seeing a lot of supporting evidence. I think it probably goes back to the natural instinct of promoting a lineage, and has nothing, personally, to do with the child.

    Enjoy your son, take lots of pictures.

  2. Kelly, thank god for your comments, lol. You're my only fan apparently. Not that I'm looking for fans here, I write this blog for myself, but still it's nice to know that someone is reading.

    Even though at times I think what enables me to write is this idea that no one will see it. Blogs are weird like that.

    But I digress, indeed it probably is true that the tension between men and their girlfriend's/wife's sons is "common". If only that were the only "issue".

  3. I'm glad you like my comments. I've been known to get a little wordy. ;)

    Blogs are weird creatures that we create, especially ones like personal, yet so public.